"Ruins"

"Ruins"
(c) Stephanie Josiah 8/22/13

I didn't sign up for this
To be heavy in my heart
Happy moments colliding
With darkened corners

Frenemy-memory floods in
No use building barricades...
The center of my ancient
Tower- soul found vulnerable

Outer walls toppled down
A city of corpses keep me
Company... My mind rotting
At the thought

Defenseless
I am unable to save
Peaceful - jolly seconds but
tiny candles in a storm

Blown out
You are gone
My old world ruins
Tell the tale

WOF conference

I just finished attending the Women of Faith Conference in Washington, DC and it was amazing.  One thought that popped up in my mind was, "is God leading me toward becoming a speaker for events of this magnitude?  It would certainly be a lot more faces looking back at me."  A bit of a chuckle started to stir inside and I said, "Okay, so much for my social anxiety.  You will do what you will with my life, Lord!  I am excited about whatever you have in store for my life.  Be it on a small scale or large, I am going to tell as many people as I can about all that you have done for me and I will honor you and give you all the glory.  Now if that is the kind of person that they need on that stage... then God - I'm your gal!!!"

Please lift me up in prayer as I continue to make moves toward more and greater speaking opportunities.  Please pray with me that I will always remember that my qualifications are simply what God has done for and through me... not anything that I've done for myself.  Please pray that I continue to be humble, that I keep my heart and mind open to growth opportunities, that I use my mouth to bless and uplift people, to challenge and grow people... and that the words that come from my mouth are from Him.  I don't know where this journey is taking me... all I know is that if Jesus is in the boat... I'm getting in!!!!

But You See Three Poem

But You See Three
By: Stephanie Josiah
8/3/2013 @ 11:35pm

Social anxiety takes on
New meaning
Three children swinging
From my arms but

Strangers
... Always ask

How many...

"How many children do you have?"

Instantly the walls tumble
Like drying linen
The fresh flesh wound about
My breast uncovered

Spotlights glare down on
broken sternum and
Busted arteries
Every hero has a weakness

The cape on my back
Now a flag of surrender
I am no champion
I lost my gooey-cheeked toddler

How do I start to explain
When I answer "four"
But you see
Three?